European Competitions Report

AFC Grumpledon have one foot in the next round of the Champions League after a 7-7 draw at home to Total Blumer. A victory would have ensured qualification but results would have to go disastrously wrong for them not to make it now. This draw followed three straight victories and Grump's boys remain undefeated in this year's competition.

Both our teams in the UEFA Cup are struggling. Binnaway Blades have it all to do and would have been out of the competition if they had not managed their first win against Rabid Wombats. But the team from Oz have perked up of late and finally climbed off the bottom of the SSPA. Two wins in their last two games gainst LFC Boys and Germantown United should gain them qualification.

A 9-3 defeat of Little Italy was the first win of the campaign for Smegma United and gave them hope of survival. Purply's team started off with a draw against the same team but successive defeats put them in deep shit. They now have to win their last two games to qualify starting with a home game against A Pox Upon You Saah!, then leaders Balti Pie and Bovril are the visitors. Purps said "If we can make Nobcheese Lane a fortress and the fans get behind us we can progress to the next round". The latest we heard is that the club have applied for planning permission for four new turrets and a moat to be built at the ground.

An artists impression of the South Stand at the new Nobcheese Village