Tosspot League - Results 20/11/08

Taxbore Wanderers and Somerset Fruitcakes did battle in a second versus third tussle at Fiscal Park which ended with the Bores keeping alive the only unbeaten record in the Tosspot League. The two teams fought out a memorable 12-12 draw and the point was enough to see Wanderers take top spot just days before Laughing Glavesy's birthday. Wandering Dog lost their place at the summit after a shock 14-8 defeat down at Nobcheese Lane as Smegma United secured their first win since August.

AFC Grumpledon edged out Armitage Shankers as the Bogside outfit succumbed to their third successive defeat. The Naked Ladies lost again as Kings Road United, slowly returning to form, beat them 8-3. It's embarrassing times for Fritz as he watched his team keep their 100% record, yes, that's five out of five defeats this season. This time it was R-Dick-U_lose who picked up the easy three points. Jillbao continued their climb away from the bottom after a 12-8 win over Eintracht Skipton.

Taxbores 12 Fruitcakes 12
Shankers 3 Grumpledon 4
Ringers 1 R-Dick-U-Lose 8
Skippo 8 Jillbao 12
Naked Ladies 3 Kings Road 8
Smeggers 14 Wandering Dog 8


















The next set of Tosspot League fixtures are coming right up, this weekend:

Fruitcakes v Skippo
Grumpledon v Naked Ladies
R-Dick-U-Lose v Smeggers
Jillbao v Taxbores
Kings Road v Shankers
Wandering Dog v Ringers

These will be the last Tosspot League fixtures until January 2009 so make the most of 'em.

No Crunch For Cash-Rich Skippo

Wild Bill spent over £20M as he made major changes to his Eintracht Skipton line up. His struggling team are slowly being caught up by the Smeggers so he sent in bids for Taylor (NEW), Malouda, Kuyt, Ameobi, Cole (WH) and Sturridge. The Yorkshire Dales based supremo didn't attend the auction but managed secure all his targeted players.

Scott E Dog was on the rampage after completely rebuilding Richmond lock single-handedly in one day. He was already installed in the White Swan in Richmond when Chairman Pip and Sardine turned up. He was hungrier than than the hungriest man on Earth and was soon going in and out of consciousness, staring at chair legs and imagining them to be pork sausages, you know the sort of thing. He even suggested we have the auction in a curry house. With more riverside stops at the Town Wharf, where Purps was doing his Rowley Birkin QC impression in the corner, and the London Apprentice his hunger was getting worse. Luckily, Franks Chippy provided him with a handful of chips to keep him going and after a special consultation with Chef in the Red Lion he finally got his curry. It was just in time really, I think he was about to eat one of us. Wandering Dog went on to sign Barton and Bendtner thinking they were brands of meat pies or something.

Laughing Glavesy had joined us at the chippy and snapped up Aaron Hughes, getting rid of Sol Campbell in the process. The Shankers boss was in a bit of a mess by now having had too many wheat beers in the Whaaaaarf. He absent mindedly signed two Everton defenders in Yobo and Baines.

The power is running out on my laptop so here are the rest of the transfers...

Jeff Stelling Shield - Round Up

The Jeff Stelling Shield kicked off with four preliminary round games. Unusually, only two of these games were decided with Somerset Fruitcakes and Kings Road United easily disposing of Taxbore Wanderers and Smegma United respectively. Tosspot League leaders Naked Ladies were held by AFC Grumpledon and they will have to battle it out again. The same goes for Slinger's Ringers and current SSPA leaders and JSS holders Wandering Dog, these two teams fought out a gruelling six-all draw at the weekend but you wouldn't give the Ringers much of a chance on Dog's own patch.

Naked Ladies 8 AFC Grumpledon 8
Slinger's Ringers 6 Wandering Dog 6
Taxbore Wanderers 5 Somerset Fruitcakes 16
Smegma United 4 Kings Road United 17

Two of the hot favourites tumbled out at the preliminary round stage at the hands of the Riedlingers. The Naked Ladies edged out AFC Grumpledon by the odd point in 17 while Slinger's Ringers put their league form behind them to hammer Wandering Dog by seven clear points in another 17 point game.

The draw for the quarter finals will be held at the auction but in the meantime here are the results of those of you that are shit at maths...

Replays

AFC Grumpledon 8 Naked Ladies 9

Wandering Dog 5 Slinger's Ringers 12

The draw for the quarter finals was made at the Red Lion on Friday night at approximately 8.37pm. The team names of the fallen Grumpledon, Dog, Taxbores and Smeggers were ceremonially burned in the Fire of Doom just behind where Chairman Pip was sat. For some reason Scott E Dog was staring at Pip like he was a hog roasting on the spit. That man was so hungry last night!

Kings Road United v Naked Ladies
Somerset Fruitcakes v Slinger's Ringers
Eintracht Skipton v Armitage Shankers
R-Dick-U-Lose v Unathletico Jillbao

Ties to be played 9th to 15th December 2008