SSPA 2012/13 - Week 2 Report

The Bank Holiday weekend saw no change at the top as John Terry’s All Gold kept up their stranglehold of the SSPA with another ten points.  The Berkshire based duo of TAM TUFF and Jillytub kept up the pressure as they filled positions two and three respectively.  Down at the bottom many teams exchanged places in 15^th place but Royal Somerset Fruitcakes took up residence until next week after a poor return of two points.

Week 2 Top Scorers – Taxbore Wanderers

It had been an auspicious start for the Teddington teams in week one but Laughing Glavesy has changed all that as her team plundered 14 points to leap up to fourth place in the SSPA.  With two goals and an assist Fernando Torres repaid a chunk of his £7.50M price tag to help the Taxbores rise up the table.  Bobby Zamora and Shinji Kagawa got on the score sheet for the first time this season while Frankie Lampard doubled his total to six.  Glavesy was only let down by her defence as Shay Given scored minus two while Dickensian sounding James Tomkins of West Ham scored minus one.

The Nearly Men – The Minstrels

In what was a very good week for the Teddington teams the Minstrels also scored comparatively high points.  Robert Huth claimed a clean sheet while Fellaini, Toure and Di Santo scored goals to take the Chefs up to ninth from their poor starting position.

Almost Pointless – Wasteland United

Poland’s finest came down to Earth with a bump after their good start.  Ashley Williams once again proved he has been a canny signing with his second clean out of two but points proved hard to come by elsewhere as Chummy Linski’s team fell from second to fifth.  Danny Simpson and Steven Taylor both suffered with a minus point each as Wasteland could only muster a single point in total.

Player of the Week – Eden Hazard

Once again Bugs Birney has proved that he has an eye for talent (either that or he is dead jammy).  A few eyebrows were raised at the auction when Bunny shelled out £14M for the Belgian attacking midfielder but with 15 points in three games it looks like money well spent.  The ex-Lille player had a slight advantage over most in that he played two games during the week but all you can do is score points and that is just what he did with three more assists and a goal.  And John Terry’s All Gold definitely needed those points as the defence were hit for six minus points.

Chump of the Week – Ian Harte

Buying Reading defenders was always going to be a mistake and in the case of 34 year old Irishman Ian Harte the Smeggers have bought themselves a duffer.  The Royals were beaten 4-2 by Chelsea and similar results must surely follow.

Bargain of the Season (so far) – Branislav Ivanovic

Well he may look like he’s smelled something putrid in this photo but Ivanovic is proving to be a bargain buy for Pip.  And it’s a good job the Serbian international has scored 11 points for the Shankers as that is almost 80% of their total so far.  But what a bargain at £1.25M.

Expensive Mistake of the Season (so far) – Sergio Aguero

At a cost of £18M to Wandering Dog, Aguero is currently the second most expensive player in the SSPA.  The Argentinian was brutally hacked down by All Gold’s Patsy Clyne before he had a chance to make an impact and now looks to be ruled out for at least a month with a knee injury.  Yes, I know it’s the same write up as last week but I reckon £18M for zero points still takes it from his nearest competitors Big Joe Harte and Vincent Kompany who have both totalled minus two for £10M.

Assist droughts for three teams

Every team in the SSPA has now managed a goal but three teams are still looking for their first assist of the season.  Whiptail Lizards, currently sixth, aren’t doing too badly but a couple of assists would have put them right up there with the leaders.  Big Euge’s problem is that he only has four midfielders as he went for the weird choice of having four full backs.  The Shankers problem is that only one of their midfield players has bothered to play and Joe Allen has done little to suggest he might notch up a bag full of assists.  As for Inter Meringue, last week’s quest was to score a goal so this week’s must be to get an assist.  Cabaye of Newcastle looks to be the man most likely to for Keezer.

Tosspot League

The Tosspot League kicked of its season with the unusual of sight of Wild Bill being at the top of a league table and the fact that two games were drawn.  A clean sheet each for Meerkatsucker and Luiz added to Naismith’s assist delighted the Settle Sounders faithful in their 7-4 victory over Wandering Dog.  Duncity United went second in the embryonic Tosspot table with a 10-8 away win at the New Knobcheese Stadium.  Goals for Danny Graham and Carlos Tevez plus an assist from Karl Pilkington were enough to beat the Smeggers.  There were narrow wins also for the Fruitcakes, Minstrels and Shankers.  Inter Meringue put in a heroic performance to grab a draw at All Gold while Not So Athletic Athletic and the Lizards shared 16 points.

Results from 21-27 August

The Tosspot League Table

Fixtures for 28 Aug to 3 Sep

The stand out fixture for this week has to be Settle Sounders first ever trip to The Minstrels (I just typed ‘Monstrels’ which sounds much funnier).  Both teams have maximum points so this could be an excellent opportunity to lead the table after week two.  Taxbore Wanderers get their Tosspot season going with an exciting looking game against the Smeggers who are still reeling from their defeat to Duncity.

Taxbore Wanderers v Smegma United

Inter Meringue v Wasteland United

Duncity United v Not So Athletic Athletic

C NUT FC v John Terry’s All Gold

Whiptail Lizards v Unathletico Jillbao

Wandering Dog v Armitage Shankers

The Minstrels v Settle Sounders

No game: Royal Somerset Fruitcakes

Click here to see more details on the Tosspot League.

Auction

The first auction will be held on Friday 7 September at the Hobgoblin in Reading.  Blind bids to be opened at 8pm.  TAM TUFF is organising a fun bicycle ride the following day if anyone fancies some Wiggo action.

Premier League Transfers

The only transfer activity since the last report is the move from Manchester City to Tottingham of the Togolese striker Emmanuel Adebayor.  This means that the Shankers now have two Spuzz players and one less City player.